Archive

 

Archive for the 'Shirley Tipsy Rants' Category

Theme:  Politics and Romance; The Slipper Fits

Author: Shirley Tipsy
04 15th, 2008

This is an actual IM conversation between my boyfriend, “Buddy Hawke” and I about a controvertial current event. It’s a perfect example of how we work….

 

Audrey: Did you hear about the guy who is being executed for raping an 8 year old
in Louisiana? crazy.

 

Aaron: i think he deserves it

 

Audrey: yeah I dont disagree. I just think its scary that we are giving capital punishment to offenses less than murder. Whats next?

 

Aaron: it’s louisiana, don’t refer to it as “we”

 

Audrey: I meant the USA

 

Aaron: it’s still 1928 in the south

 

Audrey: touche

 

Theme:  Dear Myspace Friend

Author: Shirley Tipsy
04 7th, 2008

Dear Friends,

 

I have decided that I want to renew my vows with you. To make new promises and work on our relationship. I hope you know that I am doing this because I want you to know how commited I am to the Audrey and [Friend] dynamic.

 

I, Audrey, take you [Friend] to be my myspace pal. To comment and
to message from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer
for poorer, in sickness and in health, in slow load times and bad status updates, till your profile is deleted do us part.

 

I promise to put up random bulletins containing information you probably don’t care about, but feel compelled to read anyway just in case I reference you in one of my quiz answers.

 

I promise to specifically mention certain people and how much I love them, thus implying that everyone else reading it is somehow lesser and that they’re probably not on my top 20 for a reason.

 

I promise to sporadically blog with cryptic posts that bitch about people and situations without directly calling them out.

 

I promise I will stay true to you (until you post too many bulletins and annoy me into removing you.)

 

I will be honest (unless you post a new pic that makes you look fat, in which case I will probably post a comment and say you look cute anyway, because as a myspace friend it is my duty to make sure your vanity feels well founded.)

 

In the name of the Father Tom, the News Corporation and the Internets,

 

Amen

 

Hugs and Kisses,

 

Audrey

 

Theme:  Tagged, i’m it!

Author: Shirley Tipsy
03 22nd, 2008

 

1. What is your name?
2. How old are you?
3. Where do you live?
4. What is your favorite food?
5. What is your favorite thing to do?
6. What do you do for a living?
7. What do you wish you were doing right now?
8. What is your favorite holiday?
9. Do you have any pets?
10. Favorite Band?
11. Favorite Vacation spot?
12. Favorite movie?
13. Favorite Comfort Food?
14. Favorite thing to do on a Saturday night?
15. Current wish?

  

 

I tag: Buddy Hawke, Zak, Randi

Theme:  Robert F. Kennedy was ahead of his time

Author: Shirley Tipsy
03 8th, 2008

Mindless Menace of Violence
(As spoken by Robert F Kennedy at the City Club of Cleveland - Cleveland, Ohio - April 5, 1968 - Exactly 2 months prior to his assassination)

 

“Mr Chairmen, Ladies And Gentlemen, 

 

This is a time of shame and sorrow. It is not a day for politics. I have saved this one opportunity, my only event of today, to speak briefly to you about the mindless menace of violence in America which again stains our land and every one of our lives.

 

It is not the concern of any one race. The victims of the violence are black and white, rich and poor, young and old, famous and unknown. They are, most important of all, human beings whom other human beings loved and needed. No one - no matter where he lives or what he does - can be certain who will suffer from some senseless act of bloodshed. And yet it goes on and on and on in this country of ours.

 

Why? What has violence ever accomplished? What has it ever created? No martyr’s cause has ever been stilled by an assassin’s bullet.
 

No wrongs have ever been righted by riots and civil disorders. A sniper is only a coward, not a hero; and an uncontrolled, uncontrollable mob is only the voice of madness, not the voice of reason. 

 

Whenever any American’s life is taken by another American unnecessarily - whether it is done in the name of the law or in the defiance of the law, by one man or a gang, in cold blood or in passion, in an attack of violence or in response to violence - whenever we tear at the fabric of the life which another man has painfully and clumsily woven for himself and his children, the whole nation is degraded.

 

“Among free men,” said Abraham Lincoln, “there can be no successful appeal from the ballot to the bullet; and those who take such appeal are sure to lost their cause and pay the costs.”

 

Yet we seemingly tolerate a rising level of violence that ignores our common humanity and our claims to civilization alike. We calmly accept newspaper reports of civilian slaughter in far-off lands. We glorify killing on movie and television screens and call it entertainment. We make it easy for men of all shades of sanity to acquire whatever weapons and ammunition they desire.

 

Too often we honor swagger and bluster and wielders of force; too often we excuse those who are willing to build their own lives on the shattered dreams of others. Some Americans who preach non-violence abroad fail to practice it here at home. Some who accuse others of inciting riots have by their own conduct invited them.

 

Some look for scapegoats, others look for conspiracies, but this much is clear: violence breeds violence, repression brings retaliation, and only a cleansing of our whole society can remove this sickness from our soul.

 

For there is another kind of violence, slower but just as deadly destructive as the shot or the bomb in the night. This is the violence of institutions; indifference and inaction and slow decay. This is the violence that afflicts the poor, that poisons relations between men because their skin has different colors. This is the slow destruction of a child by hunger, and schools without books and homes without heat in the winter.

 

This is the breaking of a man’s spirit by denying him the chance to stand as a father and as a man among other men. And this too afflicts us all.

 

I have not come here to propose a set of specific remedies nor is there a single set. For a broad and adequate outline we know what must be done. When you teach a man to hate and fear his brother, when you teach that he is a lesser man because of his color or his beliefs or the policies he pursues, when you teach that those who differ from you threaten your freedom or your job or your family, then you also learn to confront others not as fellow citizens but as enemies, to be met not with cooperation but with conquest; to be subjugated and mastered.

 

We learn, at the last, to look at our brothers as aliens, men with whom we share a city, but not a community; men bound to us in common dwelling, but not in common effort. We learn to share only a common fear, only a common desire to retreat from each other, only a common impulse to meet disagreement with force. For all this, there are no final answers.

 

Yet we know what we must do. It is to achieve true justice among our fellow citizens. The question is not what programs we should seek to enact. The question is whether we can find in our own midst and in our own hearts that leadership of humane purpose that will recognize the terrible truths of our existence.

 

We must admit the vanity of our false distinctions among men and learn to find our own advancement in the search for the advancement of others. We must admit in ourselves that our own children’s future cannot be built on the misfortunes of others. We must recognize that this short life can neither be ennobled or enriched by hatred or revenge.

 

Our lives on this planet are too short and the work to be done too great to let this spirit flourish any longer in our land. Of course we cannot vanquish it with a program, nor with a resolution.

 

But we can perhaps remember, if only for a time, that those who live with us are our brothers, that they share with us the same short moment of life; that they seek, as do we, nothing but the chance to live out their lives in purpose and in happiness, winning what satisfaction and fulfillment they can.

 

Surely, this bond of common faith, this bond of common goal, can begin to teach us something. Surely, we can learn, at least, to look at those around us as fellow men, and surely we can begin to work a little harder to bind up the wounds among us and to become in our own hearts brothers and countrymen once again.”

Theme:  Presidential Primaries; It’s butterfly season

Author: Shirley Tipsy
03 4th, 2008

The Presidential Primaries have got me all fluttery. Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton are two of the best Democratic candidates we’ve had in quite a while and I am psyched about how close it is right now. It’s projected that Obama will take Ohio, although he’s got a bit of a disadvantage because the weather is so bad in some parts of the state that some polling places had to be moved due to flooding. Obviously, some people would rather not brave the weather just to vote in a Primary, so the voter turn-out might not be as strong. That could work against either of them, so as a preventative measure, Obama asked for polling places to stay open for an hour longer.

 

Hillary is projected to win Texas, which would definitly keep her in the race.. thing is, Obama has proven to be quite the popular guy, keeping a cool 100 plus delegate lead so far. Even if Obama wins both Texas and Ohio, he will still be short of the 2,025 delegate total necessary to secure the Democratic Nominee bid. Winning those two states will just make it rather difficult, if not impossible, for Hillary to catch up to Obama in time to beat him. As of right now, it looks like Hillary is ahead in Ohio and BEHIND in Texas. So who knows whats going to happen? It could all rest on tonight.. i’m so excited!!!!

 

To be honest, I voted for Hillary here in California, but I would still be ecstactic if Obama ends up being our Nominee since he is definitly the better choice compared to what is now the pretty much official Republican Nominee, John McCain. I was happy to hear that Huckabee dropped out though; I almost did a dance. That guy just gave me the heebie jeebies.

 

This entire process is beyond exciting for me.

Theme:  Dispondently Yours

Author: Shirley Tipsy
02 3rd, 2008

I’m a pixie piranha, myspace prima donna,
A vision in Dickies and Chucks.
A love her and leave her, daydream believer,
A queen of hearts, down on her luck.

A camoflauge harlot, unrealized starlet,
A canvas who’s void of all shade.
A dime-store bargain, whose 50-cent jargon
Belongs in the penny arcade.

Theme:  It’s quite true

Author: Shirley Tipsy
01 28th, 2008

I don’t mind the traffic, but I sure do hate the quiet.

 

Still hiding, hope you find me.

Theme:  Waiting on the world to change..

Author: Shirley Tipsy
01 23rd, 2008

We’re different now than the world was 50 years ago…

 

We’re living in an age where the name printed on the tag of our clothes means more than the name printed on the Presidential Election ticket. The word “recession” means no more to us than the officials trying to do something to stop it. We spend more, waste more and appreciate less than ever before.

 

We spend more time worrying about which celebrity is dead, going to rehab, breaking up, making up or making babies than we do about the fact that in another 40 years or so there will no longer be any Social Security for those of us now in our 20’s to fall back on.

 

We’re chasing after the dream and throwing caution to the wind. In return, the budget, housing market and economy in the US is getting worse and worse.

 

We’re outsourcing our work, destroying our natural resources and sticking our nose into everyone else’s business.

 

We are a lost generation. We are all focused on the wrong problems and creating new ones that do not need to be brought up in the first place. Most of us are pissing away our youth trying to prove that we’re as young as we feel and for those of us in our 20’s, trying to feel as young as we’re supposed to be.

 

It’s time for change. We’re adults now guys. It’s up to us to define this generation. Go read up about the candidates. Truly invest some time in deciphering what they stand for, what they have accomplished in the past and if those things fall in line with the America you want to live in for the next 4 years. Make an informed decision. Vote. Take a stand and actually help to make a difference. I’m so tired of everyone complaining about G.W. Bush, but then hearing them turn around in the same breath and say that they didn’t even vote in that presidential election.  

 

I know we’re young. I know we have alot of things we would rather be doing, but this is our Country. This is our life. This is our future. Get off your ass and do something about it or spend the rest of your life watching the things you want pass you by because you wouldn’t take the 10 minutes to effect change!

 

Hugs, Kisses and Near Misses,

 

Disenchanted Audrey

 

P.S. -

In regards to this, I thought I would provide some helpful sites and resources I have been using to keep track of the Presidential Election debates and the statements and foundations of the candidates claims.

 

Here are some cool things you can check out to stay informed:

 

http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/

 

This site lists some of the statements made in the debates and whether or not they’re true, helps to keep a tally of who is running off of fact and who is making things up to sound legit.

 

http://www.cnn.com/ELECTION/2008/

 

Keeps a scorecard of who is winning in the primaries and caucuses. Gives keypoints on each candidates viewpoint and where they stand on the major hot issues like the war, abortion, immigration and same sex marriage.

 

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/

 

This is a good one to keep in your RSS feeder if you’re interested in knowing about politics on a regular basis, not just stemming from the presidential elections this year. This news ticker provides information on all things political and is a good way of staying on top of the goings-on of general US Politics.

Theme:  Heath Ledger is Dead

Author: Shirley Tipsy
01 22nd, 2008

It really is sad losing all of these people that are so close to my age. It makes me realize my own mortality. In light of this fact, here are some of the truly tasteless jokes my friends and I came up with surrounding poor Heaths death:

 

1. I guess the “Joke” is on him

 

2. Guess it really will be a “Dark Knight”

 

3. Heath Ledger starring in “10 things I hate about dying”

 

4. Looks like Brokeback Mountain finally broke Heath

 

5. The brothers must really be Grimm now, huh?

 

6. Life; looks like he finally learned how to quit you.

 

Think of any others? Post yours here in the comments.

 

P.S. - I realize this is tasteless and sad, but people have to deal with things like this in their own way. I choose to laugh. Sue me.

 

Theme:  Tagged by Angelalala

Author: Shirley Tipsy
12 10th, 2007

The rules:
1. Go to Wikipedia
2. In the search box, type your birth month and day but not the year.
3. List three events that happened on your birthday
4. List two important birthdays and one death
5. One holiday or observance (if any)

 

Three things that happened on my birthday:
1972 - Apollo program: Eugene Cernan and Harrison Schmitt begin the sixth and final Extra-vehicular activity (EVA) or “Moonwalk” of Apollo 17. This was the last manned mission to the moon of the 20th century.

 

2000 - American Vice President Al Gore delivers his concession speech ending his hopes of becoming the 43rd President of the United States.

 

2003 - Former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein is captured near his home town of Tikrit (see Operation Red Dawn).
Two important birthdays and one death:

1948 - Ted Nugent, American guitarist

 

1521 - Pope Sixtus V (d. 1590)

 

2005 - Stanley Tookie Williams, co-founder of the Crips (b. 1953)

 

Holiday or Observance:

December 13th - In the Julian calendar before the Gregorian reform, this was the shortest day and longest night, and widely celebrated as such.

 

I Tag:

KidDisco

Matt Cutts

SugarRae

Kristi