Shirley Tipsy

Note: I originally posted this on April 4, 2007 and am now re-posting it with the updates on some additional things I have accomplished off of the list. The 10 year deadline I gave myself still stands from the original 2007 date.

Inspired by SugarRae’s list of 25 things, I started thinking about all of the things that I tell myself I want to do, but don’t ever make a plan for doing. A lot of things started coming to mind and I started thinking back to all of the times I have ended a sentence with “I’m going to do that someday.”

Feeling greatly disappointed in myself for not fighting to do the things that I want in my life, I have decided to make my own list. This way at the very least, I will have them all written down so that when they don’t get done I can only blame myself for the fact that I never made the time (or got the guts) to accomplish them. Some of them aren’t too difficult, some of them are more about circumstance than actual will-power, but they are all things I truly want.

I’ve decided that I will give myself a ten year deadline on these things, as some of them require the help of other people and thus, the timing will not be up to me. So without further ado, here is my list:

1. See the Statue of Liberty in person - DONE!

2. Visit Europe

3. Enter a photography contest

4. Pay off my college loans - DONE!

5. Learn to paint

6. Get back down to the weight listed on my drivers license!!!

7.  Have children

8. Help my Dad finish restoring the Nova and drive it at least once.  - DONE (Well I drove it at least!)

9. Own a home

10. Learn to play the guitar well (better than just chords and specific songs)

11. Vote for a President who will actually get elected (preferably a Democrat) - DONE!

12. Buy a brand new car

13. Get married and have my parents there to see it.

14. Fly somewhere (anywhere) first class

15. Work at Google (even if it is just for one day)

16. Quit Smoking - DONE!

17. Cut my hair like Audrey Hepburn’s in Roman Holiday (the short style - after she runs away)

18. Make 6 figures a year - DONE!

19. Open my own store (must have physical address - no strictly online companies!!)

20. See “Broadway” show (preferably “Wicked”) - DONE!

21. Visit the Metropolitan Museum of Art - DONE!
(Wish I could sleep there like they did in “From the Mixed-up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler” - God I loved that book when I was a kid!!)

22. Take my nephew to his first-ever Rock concert

23. Visit Hawaii

24. Go scuba diving

25. Spend the night in a castle

I truly hope that I get to experience all of these things. I figure I need to tackle between 2 or 3 goals each year in order to make the deadline, which could be possible… maybe???

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I have been meaning to read this book for months, but everytime I picked it up I could sense that it was going to break my heart, so I put it back on the shelf in place of something more lighthearted and easy on my heart. Last month I went to the movies with my BFF and we saw a preview for the My Sisters Keeper movie which was based off of the book and I cried my eyes out. Yes, you read that right, I cried over a two minute long movie trailer. I knew right then that I needed to get over my silly hang-ups and read the damned book before the movie came out (I have a policy about not reading the book version AFTER a movie comes out.) Anyway, I finally read the book and can I just say, it was even more heart breaking than I had anticipated.

Here you have this 13 year old girl, Anna, who was born and raised to be a savior for her sister Kate who has a very rare type of Leukemia. Anna starts donating parts of herself from the moment she makes her debut in the world via the blood from her umbilical cord. As the years go on, Anna donates everything from blood to platelettes to bone marrow and the list goes on and on. That is, until she files a lawsuit to sue her parents for medical emancipation so that she can start making her own decisions about what she will and will not do with her body.

This story is beautiful and it’s hard, it makes you angry and then makes you feel like you’ve been kicked in the stomach by greif that feels so real to you, you’d swear your own children were experiencing it. I literally had to get up and leave the room while reading this book so that I could sob in privacy. 

If you haven’t read this book yet, I highly recommend it. In any event, you should at least watch the trailer and see for yourself what makes this story so special.

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What are your middle names?
Mine is Audrey and his is Aaron. Yep, that’s right, we BOTH go by our middle names.

How long have you been together?
Just about four years.

How long did you know each other before you started dating?
We met in 2004 when he joined my band and started dating in 2005, so a little less than a year.

Who asked whom out?
Neither one of us ever asked the other out. We were hang out/bar buddies aside from being in the band together and one night while hanging out at a show he turned to me and said “Why don’t you just kiss me already so I can get out of your car?” So I did. The rest is history.

How old are each of you?
I’m a cradle robber. He’s 27, I’m 29.

Whose siblings do you see the most?
Mine. We see my sister pretty much every weekend. His whole family lives in Missouri.

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
I have to deal with the fact that he is not an affectionate person and he has to deal with the fact that I am very emotional. We’ve both done a pretty good job at learning to compromise, but its still an issue at times.

Did you go to the same school?
No, he grew up in Missouri, I grew up here in Southern California.

Are you from the same home town?
Nope. Or the same State or even time zone.

Who is smarter?
Aaron is much more book smart than I am when it comes to things like history and remembering dates and things. I possess a completely useless mental library of random facts and bits of information which can be amusing at parties, but not so much for the practical world.

Who is the most sensitive?
Yeah, I know, it’s me.

Where do you eat out most as a couple?
I would say our favorite restaurant is Original Mike’s as it is the place we end up going on “date nights” most often.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
Well technically it would be Georgia, but since that was just a connection, the real answer is Ohio.

Who has the craziest exes?
I would say that we’re tied on this front. Both of us have people from our past that are a bit Off.

Who has the worst temper?
Aaron, hands down. That man has the ability to get upset about the most minute issue and turn it into a full blown arguement. Not to say that I can’t be a total bitch at times, but for the most part, I stay more even headed than he does. I’m 99% sure he is going to disagree with me about that though.

Who does the cooking?
If you asked Aaron, he would tell you that the answer to this is “The Microwave.”

Who is the neat-freak?
I am much more tidy than Aaron is. I hate it when dishes are not rinsed off and placed in the sink immediately after being used. Oh, and don’t get me started about his piles of magazines in the bathrooms! UGH!

Who is more stubborn?
Oh we’re both vying for that blue ribbon.

Who hogs the bed?
I hog the blankets because I am always freezing cold, even in the middle of summer. Aaron however likes to roll around in his sleep and use me as a human pillow whenever possible.

Who wakes up earlier?
I do. He gets to sleep in for an extra half an hour while I get up and shower and such before work.

Where was your first date?
Well, as I mentioned earlier, we didn’t really have one. But if you want to ask where we had our first kiss, then the answer would be the parking lot at Chain Reaction in Anaheim.

Who is more jealous?
I am. He claims that he gets jealous but that he just doesnt say anything out loud about it. I claim that I am not that jealous but can’t seem to shut the hell up. Odd.

How long did it take to get serious?
Well for the first couple of months we were lying low so as not to tell our friends and create a big problem. Once we told our friends, we moved in together within a couple of weeks.

Who eats more?
Aaron does. It amazes me how much that man can eat and not get fat!

Who does the laundry?
I used to do all of the laundry. But then we had the great blue robe incident of 2005 where I accidentally turned all of his socks, underwear and under shirts baby blue and he’s done his own laundry ever since.

Who’s better with the computer?
He is. He claims that my body has the anti-force and that negativity shoots from my hands into any electronic device rendering it useless. He may be right.

Who drives when you are together?
I do. Aaron hates driving. Southern California traffic makes him want to die.

I tag:

Kristi

Angela

Mikey

Anna

The Gypsy

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Ok, so Mikey tagged me in this meme, so here goes nothing…

1. When I was 7 years old, I crashed my BMX riding to the market and scraped up the right side of my face. I spent half of my summer being called “Raspberry” due to the fact that the entire right side of my face was one giant scab. Think of Phantom of the Opera, only more gross. I now have tiny scars on my right cheek parallel to my mouth that can only be seen in certain lighting.

2. I have been hit by a car TWICE in my life. Once was while riding my bike (I know, I should just stop doing that, right?) when a car pulled out in front of me, thus hitting my bike, bending my front tire and cracking my collar bone. The second time I was completely ran over (the tires missed me, but the truck passed over me completely) in my high school parking lot in Idaho. That one only gave me two giant goose eggs on my head and a nasty case of road rash on my arms, legs and face.

3. Back in the day me, my sister and my cousin were all set to appear on the 80’s tv show “Puttin’ on the Hits” (we had costumes and everything) but I chickened out at the last minute and refused to do it. Years later, when I would sing in a band, my sister would bring it up and remind me that pretending to sing in front of people scared me, but I could hop up on a stage and really sing anytime.

4. I have 10 tattoos making up 8 pieces total) and all of them have extreme significance and serve as my own personal photo album of my life. They are:

Left Outer Wrist: purple heart with ivy vines

Right Outer Wrist: Black and Red Apple

Left and Right inner wrists: “Kamikaze Lover”

Left inside forearm: Intertwined tribal hearts

Right outisde forearm: Pink Microphone 

Left and Right Inner Shoulders: Devil heart and Angel heart

Right Hip: A + J (Don’t ask…)

Right Foot: Open Book

5. On average, I read 2-3 books per week. I am a voracious reader and you will usually find anywhere from 3-6 books in different stages of being read all around my house. It’s rare for me to read a book all the way through without reading anything else, but it does happen when I find a really good one. I read each of the Twilight books all the way through in one sitting (as they were released, as Angela and I started reading those books just after New Moon came out.) I wanted to know what was going to happen so badly with Breaking Dawn that I went to the midnight book release and stayed up all night to finish it. It took me a little over 7 hours to read all 756 pages of that one.

6. Shirley Tipsy is actually the name of a drink I invented. I used to go to the same bars and order the same drink all the time “Shirley Temple, with Vodka.” One of the regular bartenders asked me to give it a name to make it easier on her. I thought “Hmmm, Shirley Temple… only drunk.” And thus “Shirley Tipsy” came to be. After a while the bartenders started recognizing me for my signature drink and would say “Hey! Shirley Tipsy!” when I entered the bar… now it’s my online nickname. Go figure.

7. I have had some crazy jobs in my lifetime. I was a Hollywood Madam for two years, finding, hiring and booking appointments for escorts in and around the greater Los Angeles area. I was a professional Autograph Hunter and traveled all around the US meeting famous people and getting their autographs on everything from pictures to records to guitars, drum heads, baseballs, you name it. My boss would then take those and sell them to those memorabilia stores in the mall. I am also a current KGB Special Agent. I heard about the job and thought that if anyone could make some money with the random useless knowledge they have, it’s me. So I applied, went through vigorous testing and eventually was hired. I don’t do that full time because the pay isn’t great, but its a fun way to pass the time and make a little extra money now and then.

Now its time to torture a few others. I tag:

Angela 

Aaron 

Anna

Kristi

Zak

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Down to you
You’re pushing and pulling me
Down to you
But I dont know what I…

Now when I caught myself
I had to stop myself
From saying something that 
I should have never thought
Now when I caught myself
I had to stop myself
From saying something that 
I should have never thought of you
Of you
You’re pushing and pulling me down to you
But I dont know what I want
No, I dont know what I want

You got it
You got it
Some kind of magic
Hypnotic, hypnotic
You’re leaving me breathless
I hate this,
I hate this
You’re not the one I believe in
With God as my witness

Now when I caught myself
I had to stop myself
From saying something that 
I should have never thought
Now when I caught myself
I had to stop myself
From saying something that 
I should have never thought of you
Of you
You’re pushing and pulling me down to you
But I dont know what I want
No, I dont know what I want

Dont know what i want
But I know its not you
Keep pushing and pulling me down
When I know in my heart its not you

Now when I caught myself
I had to stop myself
From saying something that 
I should have never thought
Now when I caught myself
I had to stop myself
From saying something that 
I should have never thought of you
I knew
I know in my heart its not you
I knew
But now I know what I want
I want
I want
Oh no, I should have never thought…

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Went to the polls seeking a voice,
Exercising opinion and my freedom of choice.
In the quiet of the booth, I escaped all the drama,
To vote No on Prop 8 and Yes on Obama!

Written By: Audrey “Shirley Tipsy” Seiberling

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The wind is savage tonight. It squeezes itself through the thinnest of spaces, disguised as the distant delighted screams of children relishing in the warmth of a summer night, as they grasp on to that tiny bit of youth that will soon escape them forever when they grow an inkling more serious without even knowing it. 

I watch leaves dance beneath streetlights as they steal my mind to conjure images of a gold and bronze ballet, choreographing itself across the pavement. Each earthen dancer jumping and swaying as it loses fragments of itself in a scene of barbaric beauty that will soon render every one of these rusty ballerinas unrecognizable.

Weather like this reminds me of a time and place I have never been. Like cellular recall from a life lived centuries ago, I feel a distant ache for an emotion I have yet to experience, yet seem to miss with the entirety of my being.

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How can I decide what’s right when you’re clouding up my mind
I can’t win your losing fight all the time
How can I ever own what’s mine when you’re always taking sides
But you won’t take away my pride, no not this time
Not this time…

How did we get here
When I used to know you so well
But how did we get here
I think I know

The truth is hiding in your eyes and its hanging on your tongue
Just boiling in my blood but you think that I cant see
What kind of man that you are, if you’re a man at all
Well I will figure this one out on my own

I’m screaming I love you so
My thoughts you can’t decode

How did we get here
when I used to know you so well
But how did we get here
I think I know

Do you see what we’ve done
We’re gonna make such fools of ourselves
Do you see what we’ve done
We’re gonna make such fools of ourselves

How did we get here
when I used to know you so well
But how did we get here
I think I know

There is something I see in you
It might kill me
I want it to be true

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Favorite person (outside family)? Tie between Aaron and Karina

Favorite food? Sushi

Quirks about you? I hate it when cabinet doors are left open. I am paranoid about germs and bacteria and therefore don’t like eating leftovers. I think most cats are assholes. I hate yellow cars. I am massively selfish.

How would the person who loves you most describe you in ten words or less? Aunt Audrey’s funny and she lets me eat bad stuff.

Any regrets in life? Do I have to pick just one??? 2/28/98 rings a bell.

Favorite Charity/ Cause? Newborns in Need

Favorite Blog recently? http://notalwaysright.com

Something you can’t get enough of? Reading. I am a VORACIOUS reader.

Worst job you’ve ever had? I did telemarketing for Aluminum Siding as a teenager. That blew goats.

What job would you pay NOT to have? Why would I pay not to have a job? I just wouldn’t try to get that job.

If you could be a fly on the wall, where? Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s bedroom

Favorite Bible verse right now? Ecclesiastes 4:11 - Also, if two lie down together, they will have heat. But how can one keep warm alone?

Guilty Pleasure? Smoking. Chick Flicks.

Got any confessions? I’m not a Catholic.

If you HAD to spend $1,000 on YOURSELF, how would you spend it? Bills.

Favorite thing about your house? Fireplace

Least favorite thing about your house? Condo’s are just glorified apartments. I hate sharing walls with strangers.

One thing you are bad at? Not being awesome.

One thing you’re good at? Being awesome.

If you could change something about your circumstances, what? My Weight.

Who would you like to meet someday? Jesus

What makes you feel sexy? Being appreciated.

Who is your real life hero? My Mom. She’s radcicle.

What is the hardest part of your job? Explaining the same things over and over again to people who ought to know these things by now

When are you most relaxed? When I’m asleep

What stresses you out? bills, life.

What can you not live without? Air

Do you agree or disagree with the recent article that reported that blogs are authored by narcissists? Technically, one would need to have a bit of an inflated ego in order to believe that anyone would care to know what is actually going on in their life. So i’ll answer with this: Cheese.

Why do you blog? Because writing letters takes too long and I have terrible penmanship.

Who are you tagging? Angela, Mikey, That guy with the computer and keyboard.. yeah you know who you are.

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I guess I thought that things were different

I guess I thought you knew me better

I guess I thought I was understood for once

I guess I thought… wrong.

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